Awaken

I have been feeling compelled for over a year now to start being more active and diligent in my Gospel Study. I have been very distracted with raising a small family and I have used that excuse to keep me from doing the little things that I know would actually help me be more successful in that effort. I still have a strong testimony, I still attend church every week and faithfully fulfill my callings. I still feel and recognize the hand of the Lord in my life. But the Spirit gently whispers what I already know. I'm slacking. I'm being okay with being mediocre. I'm focused on my little world when there is so much more to be understood. The Lord needs me to be an instrument in His hands, but ...but what? I am lazy. I am stubborn. I am not diligent.

These words from Ether 8:24 keep coming to my mind: "...when ye shall see these things come among you that ye shall awake to a sense of your awful situation..." The prophet is speaking to the Latter-Day Gentiles (US) here. Awake. Are we sleeping? Awful situation? Is there one that I'm not seeing? Refusing to see?

I keep thinking of an experience I had recently with my son. He was expressing how he got in trouble at school because he was so involved with the book he was reading that he didn't hear the teacher's directions and then had to have consequences for it. He wasn't sleeping per se, but he wasn't paying attention. He was so distracted by his book (entertainment, family life, hobbies, TV, Bunko, etc.) that he completely missed the directions given by his teacher.

Matthew 11:15 He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.

Maybe my son heard his teacher talking, but her message didn't register because he wasn't ready to look beyond his current situation. But the class moved on without him and then he was lost because he wasn't listening and eventually had to be reprimanded for his neglect.

I love General Conference. I look forward to it and wish it was more often than every 6 months. We listen to every session along with our little ones. Although I wish I could listen without distraction or interruption, it is impossible with 4 small children. I wonder what I've missed as I try to instill a love of Conference into my children - a worthy effort. With this blog, I'd like to record my efforts as I backtrack over what the latter-day prophets have taught us, and record my journey as I learn.

I want to be Awake. I want to be an instrument in the Lord's hands. I want to be diligent. I want to learn the Language of the Spirit. I want to be able to receive inspiration for me and my family as I try to lead my family in righteousness in this ever increasingly evil world.